Four years ago ...

During this month in 2009 I was making preparations for surgery - getting 'my house in order' before cancer treatment. I spent the last week of May tackling long overdue projects around the house in anticipation of being out of commission for a while. This afternoon I went back and read some of my blog posts from those few weeks. It's amazing how emotions can come rushing back. I was 'nesting', I was frightened although I covered it well, I even expressed that if there really was a God, he had no interest in me. And then I strapped myself into the roller-coaster and went on the wild ride. In May of 2009 I was beginning to step through a threshold into a new life - a better one! I was to learn that my body could withstand trauma; that I was a much stronger woman than I would have ever believed. And I learned what it's like to be wrapped in the arms of our Blessed Mother, to have a long-lost faith restored, to learn that God did indeed love me even though I hadn't accumulated any 'points', and I learned how to be truly happy. It's hard to comprehend that was four years ago. It's hard to comprehend how empty my heart was and how it has been transformed. It's hard to believe cancer enhanced my life instead of destroying it.