During
this month in 2009 I was making preparations for surgery - getting 'my
house in order' before cancer treatment. I spent the last week of May
tackling long overdue projects around the house in anticipation of being
out of commission for a while. This afternoon I went back and read
some of my blog posts from those few weeks. It's amazing how emotions
can come rushing back. I was 'nesting', I was frightened although I
covered it well, I even expressed that if there really was a God, he had
no interest in me. And then I strapped myself into the roller-coaster
and went on the wild ride. In May of 2009 I was beginning to step
through a threshold into a new life - a better one! I was to learn
that my body could withstand trauma; that I was a much stronger woman
than I would have ever believed. And I learned what it's like to be
wrapped in the arms of our Blessed Mother, to have a long-lost faith
restored, to learn that God did indeed love me even though I hadn't
accumulated any 'points', and I learned how to be truly happy. It's
hard to comprehend that was four years ago. It's hard to comprehend
how empty my heart was and how it has been transformed. It's hard to
believe cancer enhanced my life instead of destroying it.
