Ready for Tattooing

Yesterday I saw Dr B, the plastic surgeon who's doing my reconstruction. He says everything is looking great .. I thought so too! He says I'm ready for the last step in my reconstruction .. tattooing. I'm excited. It's my last procedure. Oh, there'll be follow-ups, and probably touch-ups, but it's the last step in restoring my body.

I realized something a couple of weeks ago. One of the reasons I decided to go the reconstruction route was when I finally admitted I was avoiding looking in the mirror. Or when I did, a sense of mourning overwhelmed me. Since I've had the nipple reconstruction, and the shape tweaked a bit, I not only no longer avoid the mirror, I actually stand and admire. Even when I still had stitches. The shape was so much better with the little poochie place I hated removed, and the addition of nipples makes me look more 'human'. I still have quite obvious scars but they are finally beginning to start fading. As odd as it sounds, I admire the scars as much as I do my new breasts. The scars are a reminder of where I've been, of the strength that surfaced from deep inside me, of my new appreciation for life, of my finally finding direction, of having joy after many years of sadness.

If I could go back and change the last two years, I'm not certain I would.

Almost There!

Another 100cc in expanders today. Perhaps only one more time and I'll be ready for my next surgery to have the expanders removed & permanent implants put in. New boobies for Christmas .. yayyyyy! For now, I just look like I have a swollen chest, no form, just growing skin to accommodate the implants. Even with a large implant, I'll be much smaller than I was before since it has to fill in the concave area (like going from a negative B to a positive C). Even with just the expanders, my clothes look much better. I'm looking forward to finishing up!

Thanks to those of you who keep reading even when I'm not writing & only posting 'Friday Flashbacks'. I dooooo enjoy the flashbacks (g).

Update on reconstruction. Have healed well from the surgery to place the expanders, but haven't been able to get my first injections yet. One side is persistently pink & the Dr is being cautious. It's frustrating to be two months out from surgery and still not be getting started yet. I go back this Tuesday; trying to not lift, stretch, pull, etc in the hopes it will clear up. Say a prayer? Light a candle?

This weekend is the 50th anniversary celebration at church. Tonight is hor d'oevres and a Christian comedian/impersonator. Tomorrow the same guest speaker will deliver the sermon and afternoon skit with a brunch in between. Will be a very busy but great weekend! It's good to be getting out and participating in life again.

Confirmation classes are coming along well. I'll finish up the end of this month, and be confirmed into the Episcopal Church when the Bishop visits on Labor Day weekend. It's a wonderful step forward for me.

Hopefully I'll start writing more again!

A Year Ago Today and Once Again Down the Surgery Road

One year ago today I had a bilateral mastectomy and 11 lymph nodes removed. It was the beginning of a long road of recovery from the surgery and chemo. I've come a long way!

This time the surgery was for a good thing! I decided to go ahead & give breast reconstruction a try. Not so much because I missed my breasts (no bra is very nice!), but more because of difficulty of finding clothes other than tees that fit/looked right, and because I've been using double-stick tape to tape my shirts so you couldn't see my scars when I bent over. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life investing in double-stick tape & worrying about people seeing what 'wasn't' under my shirt.

So on Monday the 14th I had the first surgery to insert expanders. They are like a thick balloon with a port where fluid will be injected every couple of weeks until the skin is stretched enough to accommodate the size implant I want. In a few months (hopefully by the end of the year), I'll have another surgery to have the expanders taken out & permanent implants put in. No more DD - I'm aiming for a C+.

Since I would already be off work a couple of weeks, I decided to have another surgery the following Monday (the 21st), in order to avoid having to be off work again in a few weeks. This was to repair both trigger thumbs which would require being off about a week. So now I'm done with both & will be going back to work on Monday the 28th. The trigger thumbs were a direct result of the Femara I take to keep the breast cancer from returning. Annoying side-effects.

I feel like I've been perforated all over!

Here's to surgeries that make life better!