Four years ago ...

During this month in 2009 I was making preparations for surgery - getting 'my house in order' before cancer treatment. I spent the last week of May tackling long overdue projects around the house in anticipation of being out of commission for a while. This afternoon I went back and read some of my blog posts from those few weeks. It's amazing how emotions can come rushing back. I was 'nesting', I was frightened although I covered it well, I even expressed that if there really was a God, he had no interest in me. And then I strapped myself into the roller-coaster and went on the wild ride. In May of 2009 I was beginning to step through a threshold into a new life - a better one! I was to learn that my body could withstand trauma; that I was a much stronger woman than I would have ever believed. And I learned what it's like to be wrapped in the arms of our Blessed Mother, to have a long-lost faith restored, to learn that God did indeed love me even though I hadn't accumulated any 'points', and I learned how to be truly happy. It's hard to comprehend that was four years ago. It's hard to comprehend how empty my heart was and how it has been transformed. It's hard to believe cancer enhanced my life instead of destroying it.

Today's rant.    I do so much better when I keep my head in the sand.

I stopped watching the news several years ago in order to avoid a stroke. I even blocked Fox News from my tv so I wouldn't accidentally land on it in between 'The Waltons' and 'Designing Women'. In the last week or so I've scanned some news so I wouldn't be totally in the dark. That was a mistake. I suspect my blood pressure is off the chart. There is something I simply don't understand. When did extremist, militant Christians get such a death grip on our country ???? When I was in school we were taught there was to be a separation of church and state. I understood that to mean that NO religion was to be promoted over another by our government bodies .. not even my own. I don't understand politicians and other leaders in our country inflicting their concept of what's right & what's wrong on others by introducing legislation designed to promote their own narrow-minded beliefs. I would also extend that to business leaders who do the same by manipulating employees by withholding benefits based on their own whims. I may be straight, but I will fight for the rights of the gay community to be equal to my own. I may be Christian, but I will fight for the rights of the Atheists and Pagans and Buddhists to peaceably live their lives according to their own beliefs .. very often they seem to have higher ethics and greater compassion than those of us who call ourselves Christian. I understand the 'right to bear arms', but I'll fight to limit weapons created for the sole purpose of inflicting as much agony and death as possible in as short amount of time as possible. Why on God's green earth would anyone want such a thing in their home ? Why would an organization that promotes itself as one that enriches the lives of young boys refuse entrance to those who are struggling with their sexual identity. Why would a state legislator propose a law that would strip young people of the opportunity to confide in a school counselor. Why would they isolate and further abuse those that have already suffered so much. Bullying in our schools will never stop until it stops at home and in our courts. When the Christian-Taliban takes over our country and the gays are all put behind a fence, I hope one of them will cut a hole in the wire and let me in.
I apologize in advance for my rant, for venting on you. Or maybe I don't. I'm angry. And my voice will likely never be heard. I see small pockets of people of the Christian faith who are finally standing up and saying these malicious people are NOT representative of all of us. I want to stand with them.

Friday Flashback - "I Will Follow Him" - 1963

"I Will Follow Him"
(Little Peggy March)

I asked, 'Mommy, sing to me?'
And she sent me a nightingale.
I asked, 'Mommy, sing to me?'
And she sent me the wind in the trees.
I asked, 'Mommy, sing to me?'

And she sent me the waves of the ocean.
I asked, 'Mommy, sing to me?'
And she sent me the laughter of a child.
I asked, 'Mommy, sing to me?'
And she held me close and whispered my name.

A New Song

"I waited patiently upon the Lord; *
he stooped to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay; *
he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God..." (Psalm 40)

I can't prove God exists.  I can't prove our Mother Mary hovers close in our present world.  But this I know in my heart .. when I was most desolate, our Blessed Mother cradled me in her arms and pointed me back to her Son.  I don't understand all things spiritual.  I can't present a discourse on theology.  But I can tell you my life has changed dramatically.  And that's all I need.

Friday Flashback - 1972 - Jim Croce

'You Don't Mess Around With Jim'
Jim Croce

Friday Flashback - 1962 - Little Eva

"The Loco-Motion"
Little Eva