Saturday, November 21, 2009
There was a point I stopped referring to my pre-surgery, pre-chemo life as my 'normal life'. The treatment schedule became my 'normal'. The roller-coaster ride is almost over, although there will be bloodwork & scans to follow. Now that I'm nearing the time to return to work, to go back to that former schedule and lifestyle, I'm as apprehensive as I am excited.
In the beginning I described breast cancer as a 'detour', expecting to return to the same road in my life after treatment was over. I'll never be back on that same road again. The road has changed. My life has changed. I'm looking forward to the new path.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Today was eventful .. I picked up my silicone breast forms .. they actually look pretty good. They're definitely more 'youthful' looking than I was naturally.
I won a 32" tv through a drawing at work ! I'm not quite sure I've ever won anything. Sweet !
Not quite as exuberant as I've been in months past .. the chemo is wearing me down both physically and emotionally. But ... I still think I'm doing great considering how it could be. Next week I will have my last treatment, then I can breathe a little deeper and begin to regain my strength.
As bizarre as it may sound, I am thankful for this journey. It has enriched me as a person, I have learned it's ok to let friends help, I have met some truly amazing people, and I am a stronger, happier woman than I was 6 months ago.
Holy Father, Divine Mother ...
I thank you for this season of my life.
I thank you for the people who have made it easier.
Please help me open my heart and my hands to give back.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Be blessed my friend, this day, and those that follow.
She Walks in Beauty
by Lord Byron
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meets in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,—
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.
Monday, November 2, 2009
It has been beau-ti-ful here the last couple of days ! Got some chores done this morning & went for a nice walk in the crunchy leaves this afternoon. I'm planning a relaxing evening, with a movie & maybe a nice long bubble bath. It's been forever since I turned my bath into a candlelit haven with wine and soft music. Ok, so I have to skip the wine for now .. maybe some grape juice.
At least my positive thoughts are returning .. yayyyyy ! I expect to feel well the next couple of days .. just in time to psych myself up for my next treatment on Thursday. Only two more !!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I'm tired, I'm irritable, head won't stop hurting, and I'm about to panic wondering how I can possibly go back to work when I can't sleep.
It's funny the things that push you over the edge.