Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Evening Thoughts

Come .. open your heart to my voice.
Set aside narrow precepts.
Believe there could be more.

Come .. allow yourself to feel my touch.
Relax in my gentle breeze.
Breathe my scent after rain.

Come .. let me soothe your thoughts.
Know my peacefulness.
Recenter in my calm.

Come .. embrace my love.
Allow me in your world.
Rest in your mother's arms.

(Divine Mother - RJH 092909)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ready for #4

Little things mean a lot - a big THANK YOU to people who have learned to sneeze/cough inside their own shirt.

Got several errands run today in preparation for #4 so I don't have to go back out for a while. Chiropractor (ahhhh), Office Depot (didn't have anything I was looking for), Petsmart (to stock up on nyjer seed for da wittle finches), then the grocery store. Mostly quick stops, but too much for one day, well all at one time anyway. You'd think I'd have this figured out by now.

I was already hot, and the hats I wear tend to be hot, so I got brave enough today to just leave my hat in the car & do what I needed to do with a nekkid head. I figured I was clean, had on makeup, have a cute head with little ears that don't stick out, so it was ok. I did fine with it. I figure if anybody gives me an odd look, I'll stick my tongue out at 'em & run !

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Wow ...

... something happened to me yesterday that hasn't happened in a very long time ... years even.

I was coming back from the Walgreens' in my neighborhood; short drive. While I was sitting at the red light waiting to turn left, I glanced over to the car (which happened to be a truck) beside me. We all do that don't we ? The man in the truck gave me a huge smile and winked. Now maybe it was because I had just gotten my car cleaned the day before, and I'll admit it is pretty gorgeous when it's clean. Or maybe he likes girls in hats. Or maybe he likes bald women. Or maybe he recognized the 'chemo-look' and thought I needed a smile. Or maybe I reminded him of his mother who is far away and he misses. Or maybe I don't need to analyze it and just be thankful. For whatever reason, it absolutely made my day and I beamed happily back at him.

No .. I didn't follow him.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Today ...

... If we could find a way to let go of the fear and hatred spawned by this day, and embrace the sense of unity and caring for our neighbors we saw in the days and weeks afterward, our small part of this world would be transformed.

Holy Father, Divine Mother, please help me comfort someone else's sorrow, help me brighten another's day, help me display the love you have so generously given me.


First let me apologize to those of you who follow my progress through this blog for taking so long to update again.

Didn't bounce back as well from Treatment #2. I did ok, but just never did get much energy back. Yesterday was #3, and today I went for my Neulasta shot. Planning to take it easy the rest of the day. I have to be very careful what I eat so the nausea doesn't get out of control, but this time I need to try to find more sources of protein that are easily-digested. High-protein shakes seemed like a good idea, but milk products don't work so well. If you have any ideas out there, let me know ! Hmmm .. maybe I need to contact a vegan friend.

Even when my days are challenging, I try to focus on those things around me that are still great .. watching & listening to the birds that honor me by venturing up to my feeders, closing my eyes and listening to Andrea Bocelli, seeing the smile on my neighbor's face if she sees me outside, the bunnies that play in my lower yard.

One of the things that's comforting to me is going to sound bizarre. I have a rock formation in my back yard that to me looks exactly like a 'fallen warrior'. Very few others can 'see' it, some who say they do are probably just humoring me. I've lived here for over 17 years. I didn't even notice it until a couple of years ago. I was sitting on the deck and just looked down through the yard, and he was as clear as could be. No, I'm not nuts .. I just have a vivid imagination.

Centuries ago Indians heavily populated this area. In my mind I can see him giving his life to protect his home, his family. As odd as it may sound, I feel like his spirit may still hover these grounds, and keep me safe as well. Or it may just be a rock.